The Big Fat Truth

Saturday, 26 January 2013

Today I wanted to write a post that's quite personal. I want to tell you my experiences with being fat, the negative (and positive) experiences I've had and my opinion on fat shaming because it isn't okay. I've been big for as long as I can remember. Varying degrees of fat, of course but always bigger than my friends. I've also always been tall and I've been told I carry it well but that does not disguise the fact that I am a UK 18-20, I have arms that are as big as some people's thighs, my thighs touch when I walk and my stomach hangs over the waistband of my jeans. Yes, I have curves but those curves are also padded in excess fat which is unhealthy and often times unsightly. I have been at war with my body for a good fifteen years and that has damaged me more than cholesterol ever will.

A few days ago there was an article written by my least favourite journalist bar India Knight, Liz Jones. It featured a friend of mine Callie who is a beautiful, fat woman who happened to be appearing as a plus size model in Evan's summer campaign. There were other large and proud ladies in the article, all who had given their opinions on how they had struggled but are now, by and large, learning acceptance and love of their bodies. The article was half decently written with a third of the famous Jones entitled vitriol that I expected but it was the comments that shook me the most. Strangers sitting behind their computers calling these women ugly, obese (clinical term which I will accept but absolutely not as an insult), lazy, unhealthy, disgusting - you name it, it was there. There were good comments but they were lost in a sea of hatred*.

Now, I don't know about you but I don't harbour intense hatred for slender women. Envy, slight jealousy, appreciation for their appearance and determination but I certainly do not hate them. I'm not going to pretend I only notice their personalities or how their eyes sparkle like a Tiffany diamond because if people loved the way my eyes sparkle they'd love me every time I saw cake. From a fat woman who has tried every healthy eating plan, diet, lifestyle change, exercise plan and meal replacement plan only to have fallen off the wagon, that is quite a bold thing to say. Sometimes we joke "You're so beautiful, you bitch" and mean it ever so slightly. Sometimes we say we don't care what we look like yet we're lying to ourselves profusely. Sometimes this happens to the thin and toned, the round and tender and all those in between. Yet, I wouldn't dare say a thin person was unhealthy disgusting or unhealthy, not because I'm politically correct but because I'm a decent human being.

The fact of the matter is, fat people deserve a life without bullying. Fat people deserve to be able to go for a run and not be laughed at. Fat people deserve to wear nice dresses in the same style as a size 10 only three times as large. We deserve to be able to eat an ice cream without someone commenting on our health because most people don't give a crap about health. They will put it under the umbrella of health as it's deemed more politically correct but it's madness. If you don't fancy fat chicks, that's your prerogative but realise that these people have control over their bodies and choose to be this way. We all know calories consumed plus calories burned equal weight loss. It's simple math but yet there's an obesity epidemic. You won't catch fat, I promise.

I have issues with people calling themselves curvy when they're fat but it's a separate issue. I'm very upfront about most things and I know I am not curvy. I am harbouring a lot of excess weight. I am not Beyonce but at the end of the day since fat has such negative connotations in society it's whatever you associate with. If curvy is your empowering word, let's do this. I think it's completely not okay to promote obesity as a lifestyle choice just as much as I think it's abhorrent to promote extremely slim bodies as a healthy choice. I think it's awful when children are forced to eat processed, calorie filled meals as the norm and are not introduced to balanced meals and fun exercise as part of their every day lives.

The fact is, I'm an adult and these are my choices. I am steadily losing weight but some weeks I go up a few pounds. My children eat healthy, balanced meals that include chocolate and cake (I love cake, did I mention that?) I exercise, eat well but I fail with portion control and emotional eating. That is my burden to bear. It is not a free for all for people to comment on the size of someone's thighs. Be the best person you can be, be the person you want to be and leave people who do no harm to you alone. If we die alone in our 3XL coffins covered in Reese's cup trays and all we ask for is a hole for a McDonalds milkshake straw in case we're not actually dead - still not your business.

I have cried too many hours about my weight as have thousands of people out there, young, old, black, white, thin and fat. Despite the "You should go on a diet" comments, rarely people do. It is up to us to decide when the time is right for that and negative comments achieve nothing because it seems like heart attacks are only allowed for the thin.

You can find the original article complete with comments here - WARNING: It's a Daily Mail link therefore it will drop your IQ several digits upon opening.


  1. This is such an amazing article you should be proud of yourself :) oh god I hate Liz Jones too, some of her articles infuriate me but yes i agree its the people that leave comments on the DM site, no matter what article no matter who it is about there is consistant nastiness in the comments section. I am not overweight and I would never make anyone feel bad about them selves as i understand that it is difficult to change, I too am an emotional eater love my sweet treats i just try and work it off as much as i can even when i dont want to still go up and down a few pounds x

  2. Wow Laura! that is one hell of a post, and I totally admire you for being so open and honest. I have friends big and small and it makes absolutely no difference to teh person they are. I hate that some people can be so hurtful and mean in comments like that, it's just disgusting that they get away with it. I consider myself overweight, not obese, but bigger than I should be and I try to do something about it too, but it just doesn't happen that often. I'm more or less happy as I am most of the time, it is actually the comments off my mother that push me into not liking the way I am - she says she is helping me and only mentioning it for my own good - it doesn't help, it makes me feel rubbish! And I'm about the same size as she is so it's super annoying. Anyway not dragging all that up! But good on you for speaking out, I think you are a truly beautiful person inside and out!
    Daisy Dayz Blog
    I'm in pursuit of an online income - check out my new Online Work Blog

  3. Whilst I read this, I literally felt like you were taking the words right out of my mouth. I feel like I should write a long comment... but all I can actually say is three things.

    1. I completely, sincerely, agree with every thing you've said here.
    2. I LOVE YOU. Because this post is utterly amazing.
    and 3. Thank You.


  4. Absoloutly LOVED this article! <3

  5. Well said. It's possible to be overweight and healthy. Also overweight (hell shall I just say fat?) fat and active. Fat and beautiful.

  6. Well done Laura - excellently written

  7. What an amazing post! Well written and put together. It's always a hard subject to talk about for a fear of insulting someone, but you have the right attitude, you are trying to become healthier which is all that matters. I bet you are in fact healthier and fitter than girls who have a smaller dress size than you. Sis not everything. I weight a good couple of stone more than my friends but I bet I can out run them! Society is too concentrated on clothes size and ideal weights to see that just because you are smaller in size does not mean you are healthy! Anyways enough ranting from me.

    I just wanted to say I loved this post! You have a wonderful blog, now following :D


  8. Laura, amazing article, and I really mean that. So well written, and eloquently put. Like so many others, I could write war and peace in a response, but I think you said it all, and much better than I could ;)

    Georgina xo

    P.S. I too hate the daily mail and that horrendous 'so called' journalist that is liz jones...

  9. Amazing post. I'm the same size as you and hate fat shaming. I get people comment on the fact I must wear leggings because i'm too fat to wear jeans. Society can be fucked at times.


  10. This post made me get choked up (I'm such an emotional wreck) Laura you are one of the loveliest people I follow on twitter and it upset me so much to read of how much of a shit time you have had because of your size. I could write so much more, but although I'm not big I feel your pain of years of complete (excuse my french) twats making you feel like you shouldn't be confident in yourself. I think you are wonderful and this honest post (like your previous one I LOVED about being a mother) is just what I love most about blogging.

    Keep them coming!

    Amy x

    1. Also to let you know I nominated your awesome blog for a Liebster Award (I don't know if you've done it already?) :)

  11. This post really resonated with me- I'm overweight too, about a UK 16-18, and it's only recently as I've gotten older that I've become more accepting of my body for what it is and I'm determined to not beat myself up anymore for what I might perceive as my physical failings. The pressure to look a specific way is so intense these days, that's why I love how popular blogging is becoming because it's a way for girls of all shapes & sizes to speak up and say 'this is not okay'. Really brave, honest post. Loved it. x

  12. Hello Laura, I've only just found you but I know already that I HAVE to follow you, what an amazing post. Some many points ring true with me. My weight has steadily crept up over the years, realising that some people taking loudly about someone stood "behind the fat one" were referring to me was crushing. I try to tell people I'm happy with my size, but I know that if there was a pill I could take or a button I could push to change it I'd be first in the queue. So happy to be following you, I can tell that you're fabulous already :)
    Kate @ Just Pirouette and Carry On...

  13. Such an amazing post. Especially loved the part at the end about daily mail!
    You don't have to be thin to be beautiful ♥


  14. Loved reading this :-) it's nice to tackle topics that most people would avoid xxx

  15. Loved reading this :-) it's nice to tackle topics that most people would avoid xxx

  16. Read this a few weeks ago but I felt I should comment upon reading it again about how refreshing it is to read. I have lost 2 stone and still have another 4 before I am in a "normal" weight range. It's nice to hear someone speak frankly and openly about this and to know that I'm not alone.