#FashFail

Thursday, 21 March 2013
I'm going to talk to you about some of my beautiful, spot on horrendous fashion mistakes. I'm not going to talk to you about all of them because one shouldered flowing tops with a sequinned chiffon arm teamed with sky blue pedal pushers and white clogs happened. I don't have photos from that little error as it was the 90's, it was cool and it was also before the world went mighty digital (thank God). Alas, there are gems out there from the digital era. Gems like heavy kohl liner with pink plastic beads (wrapped so that it was like a choker and a long necklace all in one) and green checkered knock off Vans. Gems like jeggings with a bubble hem strapless dress and nude heels. I'm not even going to go on because offending your imagination is one thing but offending your eyes with photos? I wouldn't do that.

I totally would. Check me out.

I remember that photo remarkably well. I paired a red polka dot head scarf with huge earrings, too much eyeliner, an orange polka dot bubble hem dress, grey jeggings and green flats. Look at my hair. It was a short, choppy, spiky mess that I added ratty cheap extensions to and called it a style. In all fairness I was around sixteen or seventeen here but, no, that's no excuse. Stop giving me the eye. I'm not even going to talk about the polka dot on leopard print on light denim. Never.

I'm thankfully not alone in this. With Burton's #FashFail competition (you can tweet your own traumatic photos with that hashtag) people are sending in their most haunting errors all in the name of competition. You should too. You know, so I'm not alone in this. I know you've been there. I know you thought hair mascara with sixteen scrunchies in ascending size was an excellent idea. I know you own formal knee length 'city' shorts and wore them out. I know all of your secrets and now the internet will too.

5 comments:

  1. Ahh fashion fails! I think we've all been there. And hey, you were just ahead of the crowd on mixing polka dots and leopard print, for a while I heard that it was all the rage to mix your patterns! I never quite got it though, haha.

    Two I remember quite well were the lime green corduroy style top, floaty lime green skirt with royal blue flowers (blue and green should never be seen!) and LIME GREEN CLOGS. Who does that. Really, who? And of course my long floaty red maxi-style skirt, black vest, BRIGHT red beads with the choker/long necklace combo you mentioned, and these weird crocheted style flip-floppy shoes. I looked so frumpy it's unreal!

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    1. Dear God. Do you remember the army style trousers with the 'things' hanging off them? And skirts attached to trousers? I cry.

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  2. I remember you looking like this <3

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  3. I guarantee my hideous fashion fails beat yours. You may have inspired me to write about mine. Thankfully there aren't many 90s horror stories, and I'm so glad I deleted my myspace profile...eugh.

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  4. Thankfully mine aren't in photos (I hope) but I had some pretty horrible ones and some I shudder I think back on. I had them big ass baggy trousers that made my feet look like elephant trunks and kept getting caught on my bike chains so it ended up a big mess

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