Today I'm posting something a little different. Instead of giving you photographs of products, gadgets, interior gems or clothing wonders, I'm giving you words and in turn, my real desires. It is all well and good to lust after material items (and I am so in love with a handbag right now it is leaving a gaping hole in my chest) but I am running low on money and I am almost out of patience. I am in a rut, an emotional slump that seems a little more than little. Appreciation is key at times like these, aspirations more so and so, I have compiled a wishlist of things I do wish for, for my own health (body, mind and soul) and for those around me so they don't want to lock me in a room to cry it out. I cry at the most inopportune moments.
I wish for health, as best as I can get it. I want to be able to get outside, enjoy the sun or even the icy breeze. I wish for love; to stand in front of the man I love the most and ask him to love me without words and for him to give that love without thought. I wish for my daughter's to grow up with compassion and also a resilience that cements them as good people no matter what road life has planned (or not planned) for them. They are worth more than anything in my life and to see these little women take shape, correct me when I'm wrong, verbalise their distaste or distrust, remind me to be friendly - well, that's true accomplishment.
I wish to forgive and to put the past pain and blame firmly into a box only to be opened when in dire need of reflection. I am a hoarder of memories both good and bad and over-analytical to a fault so while it is a big wish, it is still a wish. I aim to be more conscientious of other people's needs and not just the people's that are so directly in my life that my actions reflect back to me. I'd like to be conscientious of strangers, compassionate, kind and interested as we're all a bad day away from needing assistance even in the form of an overheard conversation or a slight nod of the head in acknowledgement. I wish for full time employment that brings a steady income to stop the almost 4am blogging just to get thoughts out. I wish for budgeting skills and pep talks from friends that make me truly want to become more organised, even if a prominent reason is an excuse to buy a Filofax. I wish to finish my novel, bind it and display it. I wish to live a healthier life full of brightly coloured food that you can tell are excellent for your well-being with a simple glance. I wish for fresh food, raw food, cooked food, deep fried food; food I've cooked as I am a shabby chef (yes, I used creative license here - I am truly awful).
I wish for coffee and sugar at a white rickety table in a little known cafe with soup brunches and brightly coloured nails. I wish for drowning in ball pits trying to determine which part of my two year old will hit my face first. I wish for Spring and all that it entails. I wish for a life pregnant with possibility rather than a life of excess.